Friday, November 21, 2014

How to Deal with People Who Cause Stress



Today's Let's Do Lunch Question is: 

"As a follow-up to your last Let's do lunch post, how do you distance yourself from a person that is causing stress and anxiety in your life? Mine is a coworker...."

We all know the type. I'm sure as readers see this question they'll picture that person in their life that causes them the most stress and anxiety. What is it about those types of people?! What is it about them that gets under our skin? Why do we sometimes imagine punching them in the face? 
Or is that just me...

There are just some people in this world who come across rude, abrupt and sadly I don't think they even realize they are coming across that way. Very few people intentionally want to be the jerks of the office.The truth of the matter is we are going to experience these types of people (heck! we might be that person) throughout our entire lives. If it's not them, it will be somebody else in the future. So learn now how to deal with these types of people now! 

One of my favorite sayings (it comes from my aunt, Miss Manners) is "you can't make sense out of nonsense". These people that are driving you insane, dear reader, are the same types of people who have social issues. They might not communicate clearly, they are jealous of your work, or nobody has ever set them straight in life.

During my internship, I had the great experience of working at a psychiatric unit for a month. I attended all sorts of support group meetings, I heard the Serenity Prayer spoken over and over again. It's a beautiful prayer and I think it applies to so many issues we each have in our lives. You can't change this person, what you can change is how much you will let their actions control your mood at work. 
The Serenity Prayer

Here are my tips on how to deal:
  • If possible, stay away from this coworker. Are they in your area? Do you have a way to escape? Are you working together on the same project? If not, get outta dodge and let them be and calm your nerves. 
  • I've learned over the years that the people who have nothing going on in their lives and the same ones who love to stir the pot and create drama. Be aware of these types of personalities.
  • Keep things civil and avoid dwelling on the shoulda coulda wouldas. I know from first hand experience that we are not going to get along with everybody at work. Grin and bear it, then go spend some time in the bathroom to get away from everybody. I can proudly say I've only cried in the bathroom at work two times, both because of the same person, and it was mostly because I cry when I'm angry, which is really embarrassing when I'm trying to make a point. 
  • Don't let them get to you!! This might sound mean, but I'm telling it like it is... work might be all they have... so let them have it. Some people don't have cute kids to go home to, or dogs that are so happy to see them. They might not have friends to have dinner with or a mom who calls to make sure they made it home safely. If it doesn't directly involve you then let them have it.
  • If this person is being intentionally rude to you, report them to HR. They will handle it from there. 




What say you Southern Hope readers? How do you deal with people who cause stress and anxiety in your life?

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