Thursday, November 6, 2014

How to Cope with Stress and Feelings of Inadequacy

Let's Do Lunch An Advice Column

Today's Let's Do Lunch Question is:

"What are good ways you've found to deal with stress and feelings of inadequacy? Are there books or things you've found that work for you?" 

Ask yourself the following questions:

Is this a problem I can fix today?
If the answer is no, then don’t stress about it! If the answer is yes, go about making a plan on correcting the issue.
Is there somebody else who could solve this problem for me?
I talked last week about letting others take on our burdens. Family members, friends, and spouses are there to help you, please take them up on it!
Is my stress coming from someone else?
If there is a person in your life causing stress (we all know these types, talking to them can get your blood boiling and heart racing) slowly distance yourself in a respectful manner. No need to be rude and inform this person you are leaving them behind, just go about your business and watch your stresses melt away.
If you can answer all of these and still feel stressed then it is a problem that cannot be fixed at the moment. You are fixated on something that is out of your hands and uncontrollable. Turn it over to God and trust that His plan is always better than whatever you could dream up. 
John Hughes Quote

Feeling Inadequate
We live in a fast paced social media filled world. People post pictures of their houses in the best state, their perfectly made up faces, and professional family photos. This past week I read a great blog post about this exact issue from Color Me Meg, read it HERE

When you feel inadequate, can you do me a favor? Can you reflect on the blessings you do have? Can you notice that nobody in this life is without trials or sin? At some point all of us will go through heartbreak and sorrow, it’s how we help others that makes all the difference.It's Okay to be happy with a calm life
What Works for Me, Might Not Work For You
How I handle stress might be different than you and what I get stressed out over might be different as well. But here are some things that have worked for me:
·                     Take a kick boxing class. Somehow kick boxing let's you direct any and all past aggression into the moves. Release and let it go!
·                     Allow yourself a day in bed. I am the first to admit I use this more often than I should. Watch TV in bed, eat snacks in bed, whatever makes you feel rejuvenated and able to take on the world.
·                     Go to the library and check out their self help section on the topic you are feeling down about or become more educated on your situation. The only way to learn and to change is to educate ourselves, so start at your local library. 
·                     Talk to people. Even if your insides are screaming, "I'm scared", "they are cuter than me", and "I may have food in my teeth"! Smile, say hello… Get to know those around you to stop focusing on yourself. 
·                     Read something that moves you EVERY single day. Scriptures, Pinterest quote boards , and motivational speeches.
·                     Don't use phrases like "you should" or "you aren't" or "you didn't". What will those end with? They will leave you feeling regret for things you should have done, remind you of what you "aren't" and causes you to focus on what you didn't do, which you can't go back and change, so "shoulda, woulda, coulda" is a better option. This is hard for ALL of us. 

Disclaimer: All advice given through Let's Do Lunch are my personal thoughts and what I would do in a similar situation. I'm not a doctor, therapist, or certified anything. I'm just a girl who loves to help. 

What say you Southern Hope readers? Any advice to add?

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