Thursday, September 26, 2013

First Breakdown

Last night, R drove down from Athens for a church meeting. It's always good to see him unexpectedly during the middle of my work week. Sadly for him, I unleashed the hormonal beast with tears and unstoppable giggles.

One pregnancy symptom I am loving is having uncontrollable giggles, once I get started nothing can make me stop unless I take a walk, a long walk. I giggle like a little drunk girl, it can be really embarrassing. I started one day right before church and had to sit out in the hallway for a majority of the meeting.

I'm out of control, but baby is hopefully giggling down there right along with me.

While we were chatting it up in bed last night, I had a minor *sarcasm* breakdown over
homeless people.

Specifically about an older man I saw out on the street yesterday, hunched over and shuffling along. I thought about how he used to be somebody's child and nobody begins their life wanting to be homeless. I thought about how what might have happened to him that either made him want to be homeless (some choose that life) or whatever environmental factors caused it.

I thought about it and then let it go, until late last night.

As I sat up in bed and cried my eyes out for this man, R just stared at me like I was crazy.

I asked him, "What happens when he dies? The police will find him and then what? Does he get a funeral? Does anybody care or notice when he is dead?" I blubbered, tears streaming down my face.

I then started to giggle because I realized how ridiculous I sounded. I felt so awful for that man. So horrible, but then I started to giggle and then cried for how inappropriate giggling felt.

My body is not my own anymore, I am no longer in control of the vessel!!