If I said it aloud, it would make it real.
So a secret we kept.
This secret made me scarf down tomato soup in the dead of summer.
It made me eat a potato a day either baked or in french fry form.
The more chicken fingers I ate, the happier the secret became.
When I was overcome with worry that the secret might have left me,
I would get a rush of nausea or a striking pain across my chest.
This secret showed itself before we ever knew ourselves.
On our bike ride around my parent's neighborhood when the rain poured down on us
A rainbow was perfectly arched over my parent's home.
We saw it from on top of the hill on our bikes.
That same week, I would have a dream, a huge belly I rubbed and felt the excitement in the air,
When morning came I woke up so upset, so heartbroken because my dream was not true.
My belly was still flat.
After the dream and rainbows followed us around,
We experienced a miracle, tests showed a positive!
We shared the news with my parents, being their only child, giving them their first ever grandchild, they couldn't be more thrilled
We asked my dad to keep our secret as a Father's Day gift
When I first saw my secret on the screen, tears formed, but my fear was not gone.
Lovenox shots. Worry would stay, our secret we would keep.
Daily lovenox shots into my stomach to thin my blood providing optimal nutrition.
7 weeks later, I saw our secret again this time my fear diminished.
Legs kicking, a hand waving, and a beautiful nose
A normal heartbeat: 167 at 13 weeks
No more lovenox shots,
No more medical record meltdowns
No more infertility bills.
No more tears, only happy and hormonal ones,
No more broken hearts
No more bad news.
Happy days are ahead,
Tiny toes and fingers to be kissed,
A beautiful secret we kept
and now we are ready to share.
Our hope will be fulfilled in
Looks like I've got a lot of reading to do!