Saturday, August 24, 2013

I've Been Keeping a Secret

A secret I wanted to share sooner, but didn't have the faith to believe it was really happening to me.
If I said it aloud, it would make it real.

So a secret we kept.

This secret made me scarf down tomato soup in the dead of summer.
It made me eat a potato a day either baked or in french fry form.
The more chicken fingers I ate, the happier the secret became.

When I was overcome with worry that the secret might have left me,
I would get a rush of nausea or a striking pain across my chest.
This secret showed itself before we ever knew ourselves.

On our bike ride around my parent's neighborhood when the rain poured down on us
A rainbow was perfectly arched over my parent's home.
We saw it from on top of the hill on our bikes.

That same week, I would have a dream, a huge belly I rubbed and felt the excitement in the air, 
When morning came I woke up so upset, so heartbroken because my dream was not true.
My belly was still flat.

After the dream and rainbows followed us around,
We experienced a miracle, tests showed a positive!
We shared the news with my parents, being their only child, giving them their first ever grandchild, they couldn't be more thrilled
We asked my dad to keep our secret as a Father's Day gift

When I first saw my secret on the screen, tears formed, but my fear was not gone.
Lovenox shots. Worry would stay, our secret we would keep.
Daily lovenox shots into my stomach to thin my blood providing optimal nutrition.

7 weeks later, I saw our secret again this time my fear diminished.
Legs kicking, a hand waving, and a beautiful nose
A normal heartbeat: 167 at 13 weeks

No more lovenox shots,
No more medical record meltdowns
No more infertility bills.

No more tears, only happy and hormonal ones,
No more broken hearts
No more bad news.
Happy days are ahead,
Tiny toes and fingers to be kissed,
A beautiful secret we kept
and now we are ready to share.

Our hope will be fulfilled in
Looks like I've got a lot of reading to do!


Anonymous said...

wow Whit! I loved this! So happy for you girl! I'm in the same boat so this gave me a little more HOPE! These next few months are going to be important so I'm hoping for a miracle! :)

Stefani Leavitt said...

I have to comment here, too. I may be more excited about this than I was about mine. Is that totally weird? I'm just so excited. SO EXCITED. Yay, Whit!!!

Emily Carnes said...

SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY for you two!!! Congrats. :)

Erika said...

Congrats, friend! How exciting!! :)

Ginger said...

Oh my goodness! I am SO SO SO happy for you guys! Congratulations!

Giggles said...


For reading recommendations I'd suggest "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" (so much better than "What to Expect When You're Expecting"), "The Birth Partner" and "The Nursing Mother's Companion." (And we got our copies at the used bookstore.)


Julie said...

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! I am so happy for you!! :)

Wendy said...

I am so happy for you!!!!! So excited. I almost cried for joy when my husband told me. He saw it on Facebook and said guess what? I am excited! I cannot wait to find out what it will be. I am still smiling for you.

Lisa said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! After all the posts about infertility, your time has finally come. So excited for you! All the reading you do will really not prepare you...well maybe a little. The best learning environment is the hard knocks of motherhood, though. Can't wait for you and February...

Jill said...

Yay, yay, yay! I can't wait to see you with that cute big belly and I super can't wait to hold your little sweetheart - love and prayers always. Plus now I am allowed to SHOUT the news! Whitney and Richard are having a baby!! Emilie is going to be so excited when I tell her. :-) I know my future bestie is the grandma, maybe I can be the favorite aunt?? Call me with any questions - none are too weird for me.

ElizaO said...

All I can say is WHOO HOO!!!! What wonderful news. I'll be thinking of ya'll!

fakingpictureperfect said...

Congrats!!! -Meredith

Monica Lynn said...

Woot Yeah! WOnderful!

J. said...

What great news to start my first day back from two weeks of lovely vacation. Congrats!!!