Tuesday, April 23, 2013

My Letter

You are so excited to begin the exciting journey of bringing a chubby baby into your home. You tip toe around your friends, not wanting to share that you are trying with them, wanting to surprise your family with upcoming joyous news. That was over 2 years and 7 months, two surgeries, expensive shots, 3 different doctors, and thousands of dollars ago...

Almost shy of a year will go by and several friends will have babies and you will take those heavy footsteps into the doctor's office. Do not fear. R and you handle the news so well. Somehow you don't feel defeated, not yet. You are more determined than ever. 

Be patient, Whit. It won't be solved, no matter how quickly you get the paperwork in, no matter how fast you track your insurance bills down, or monitor your calendar. Records will fall through the cracks, information will be misread, you will be misinformed. Time is not on your side. Patience will be a virtue you are forced to have in your new life.

Comforts you should cling to are solid friendships, long walks, and exercise classes to release your anger, relaxation techniques, cuddles with Sunny Day and Milo, talks with R, and shopping with your mom. Start these as soon as you can, they will bring great peace.

Do not compare yourself to others. As your social media feeds fill with friends having their second babies, all during the time you've been trying for your first, do NOT compare your journey to theirs, it is different and always will be. You’ll meet other women along a similar path as you, who have endured much harder circumstances than you, learn from their experiences on how to endure beautifully.

During this time in your life you will learn gratitude, you will learn to take care of yourself, your medical records, you will lean on your husband and create an unbreakable bond, allow yourself to be happy for others, but also to cry when it is warranted. Allow yourself a pity party once a month, but do not wallow in self-pity.

There is so much in life to cherish, take road trips, create new memories, try new recipes, live your LIFE to the fullest. Your children will come, the when is not the concern, it is the how.

Let your husband take care of you, there will be a part of you that wants to fight with him, to get angry, but nobody is to blame. You are handling it to the best of your ability and don't let anybody take that away from you. As you experience the pain of your miscarriage, allow others to comfort you. Give them suggestions on how they can help, they all care.

Deal with it the best way you know how, faithfully and with lots of sarcastic humor. Having so many people know your heartache will be encouraging (remember they are on your team), but also heartbreaking.

Let their worried glances motivate you to comfort others who are suffering in the same way. Because you speak out, others will share their deepest heartbreaks with you, listen and share.

Reach out.

Be a voice.

Be a comforter.

Happy thoughts and for those also hurting I send you so much love and hope,



Ginger said...

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. <3

2busy said...

You often wonder what there is to learn. Message echo through my mind...endure to the end...find joy in the journey...

Thanks for sourcing me on the clip art. Though I reposted, the original can be found here.


Giggles said...

I know that many times in my life my prayers have been answered with patience beyond my mortal capacity. I wasn't specifically praying for patience, but that was the answer I got at the time.

J. said...

Beautifully done. Your message is important.