Thursday, April 25, 2013

Join the Movement: Inclusion

I set out this week to openly talk about our personal struggles, to be another voice in the crowd asking for action, for awareness. By writing Things Just Got Real, My Letter, and Label Maker I feel I have added a small drop in the awareness bucket. Just a tiny piece of knowledge to say, it is more common, I know it is a taboo subject, but we are talking about it anyway! I feel cleansed, relieved that I have shared so much.

More importantly to say to others, you are not alone. I want to further explain that statement, because I say it a lot here.
You are not alone.
There it is again!
Infertility equals isolation. Couples feel left out of family activities, being the only one without, some are not asked to baby showers because their friends worry it will hurt (never do that to a friend, always extend an invitation and let them decide whether they want to attend or not).

Sometimes being around multiple children all at once can be overwhelming. I have felt the real pains in my heart from overheard comments on having "too" many children. When your heart aches for something not easily given, others taking advantage or not appreciating what they have can be excruciating.  
Couples dealing with infertility worry about when their parents will become grandparents, should they pursue more education while they have free time, or should they put off that vacation, worried they will become pregnant and have to cancel.

Couples put their lives at a standstill, holding off on any big decisions "just in case".
The what ifs make people with infertility feel isolated.
Isolation is one of the biggest topics I come across when speaking with others, they feel so alone. Having a baby is one of the most celebrated events, it is written into family trees, documented, bragged about, announced in newspapers and various social media.
We cannot allow ourselves to feel left out of these exciting events.
We need to be active,
we need to be engaged,
we need to stay positive.

In a way, this trial has made me feel more empowered as a woman. I have options, I grow stronger every day with various interests and hobbies. I feel empowered because I feel like the Lord has entrusted me with this trial, He knows it will make me more patient and kind, more understanding of others. R and I went through a phase when all this first started, we were putting our lives on hold. We quickly learned that is no way to live a life.


The Lord knows I can handle it, because He won't give me anything I can't...
How empowering to know the trust He has invested in me.

Now I'm going to completely overwhelm y'all have some educational information and more websites.
Here are the top ten ways of coping with fertility issues:
Recognize that a fertility problem is a crisis.

Don't blame yourself.

Work as a team with your partner.

Educate yourself.

Set limits on how long you're willing to try.

Decide how much you're willing to pay.

Get support from professionals and others with fertility problems.

Just say no to baby-focused activities.
Balance optimism and realism.

Take care of yourself by pursuing other interests.
To see how your state ranks in overall fertility awareness
I found out, Georgia is NOT so good *sad face*
Infertility as a disease and more information
More information on NIAW


Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples said...

These are such great resources! I'm so sorry you feel isolated. Infertility is so hard and I hope having this outlet (blogging) helps you feel less alone.

J. said...

Good to know. Thanks.

2busy said...

I think you are certainly doing your part for fertility awareness for Georgia. Keep up the good work.

Mary Ann said...

Love You And This Post!! You have A Wonderful Way With Words And I Admire The Way You Are Dealing With What YOu Are Going Through. I Don't KnOw Why My Phone Is Capitalizing Everything!!

Giggles said...

Infertility is one of the stranger blessings I've ever had.

Em said...

I love your top ten list. Way to break it down into realistic, helpful action points. And you're so right about infertility being isolating. I've never felt so alone as I did during the darkest moments of my infertility journey.