Monday, February 25, 2013

Fake Tanning Experience 101

I have researched the Mystic Tan booths for a while now. Reading reviews and such. I finally got the courage to step into one this past weekend. I went to the gym for a good cardio workout while R slept and decided to stop by the tanning place closest to our apartment.

 I asked the nice gentleman, who looked like he had just stepped off the beaches of Jamaica, how it worked.  He showed me the booth, the various shades, and what worked best for maintaining my new glow. I thanked him and told him I would be back later after showering, shaving the winter coat off of my legs, and exfoliating. I went by in the early afternoon while R went to help jump off a friend from class.
Have y'all ever seen the Friend's episode "The One with Ross' Tan"? Oh goodness, it is one of my favorites. I laugh so hard as he gets sprayed over and over again on the same side while inside the tanning booth.

So there I was, lathering myself in the special lotion they give you for your hands and feet so they don't get that clumpy "orange" look. I placed the special sticky shoes on the bottom of my feet, I am assuming these were for anti slippage? And replay the episode in my mind.
I step into the booth, naked as a jaybird, and an animated woman's voice comes on telling me where to place my feet, she begins a countdown, similar to the ones before a NASA space launch and I start to giggle. I was rather glad the voice was a woman's because it would have made it even more awkward if it was a man's.

Then the spraying starts, it is cold and misting back and forth from my toes up to my face. I'm standing there arms up, fingers a part like a claw (as instructed) giggling uncontrollably. I have to close my mouth so the spray doesn't get in there and try not to make a weird face so the spray is even.

After I rotate per Mrs. Robot's instructions, I assume it is over and step out of the booth.
Then she comes on and says "beginning dry cycle in 3..2..1." I jump back in, and place my feet on the mat, the leftovers of the spray ended up on my legs (thank goodness) and I stand there as it gives me the dry cycle, much like those at the car wash.

By the time I was done with my Fake Tanning Experience, I felt like a shiny new Cadillac, washed, waxed, and glistening with a new paint job.